On the subject of butterflies
by Ranekaera
Summary: What if Hagrid HAD said follow the butterflies? R&R plz


Ever wonder what would have happened if Hagrid HAD said "follow the butterflies"?

One shot only

Enjoy, plz plz plz plz plz review

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

Harry was trying to focus on pruning his cutting of Devil's Snare, something that required all of his attention, but something of which he was having trouble doing because of a certain red-haired someone. Ron kept poking him in the ribs.

They were in Herbology, and the main topic was Hagrid's recent imprisonment to Azkaban. The story had spread like wildfire, not helped by the blessedly moronic Lockhart. Harry swore, if he accused him of fame one more time, he just might hijack the Hogwarts express and run him over.

Come to think of it, it might improve his looks.

Too sick of Ron poking him to ignore him any longer, he smacked him with his pruning shears and said "_What?!_?"

"Look," he said, pointing. He was pointing at a trail of small, yellow butterflies.

"So? They're just a couple stupid butterflies," he said, returning his attention to the plant that was trying to slice his hands off.

"Hagrid said 'follow the butterflies'... thank god it wasn't spiders, eh?" he said.

"Yeah, whatever., Shut up, I'm trying to prrune this... stupid thing." he mutterd, and he just got fed up and sheared the whole frigging plant down to the roots. Even _they_ tried to throttle him. What was it with this plant? Was it related to the venus flytrap?!

"Hagrid said, follow the butterflies. The butterflies, Harry." repeated Ron. Harry looked again at the ongoing line of butterflies.

"Yeah, alright, whatever. Let's go and follow your butterflies," he gave in, giving one last stab of the shears at the roots of the Devil's Snare.

They were heading to the Dark Forest. Harry, having been in there before, wasnt afraid of it, but Ron, it seemed, was. Then again, he was afraid of just about everything, Harry was still stunned he'd ever made it to Gryffindor.

Just to be a jerk, Harry thought he'd have fun with Ron.

"Hey, uh, Ron. Did you hear that?" he asked.

"Hear what?" he asked, his voice bypassing alto and skipping straight to soprano.

"I think it was a werewolf... wait! There it is again!" he said, spinning in the other direction. Ron looked like he was about to cry, he was so scared.

"Harry, I'm scared!" he whimpered.

"You're always scared. Come on, you baby. They shoulda put you in Hufflepuff..." he muttered.

They kept following the butterflies, as they fluttered ever closer into the gloom.

"Where the hell are they going? thought Harry. There couldn't possibly be a butterfly convention somewhere...

"Where the hell are they going?" he muttered.

Suddenly they found out as they stepped into the next clearing...

It was a hidden valley, complete with dribbles of the salad dressing on the leaves, and unicorns prancing in the streams. There, being circled by all the butterflies they had followed, sat the biggest, fattest unicorn that had ever existed. It went against every biological law that ever existed.

Pools of fat covered in sparse white hairs covered it's disgusting body, and as they approached, it gave a tremendous fart that Harry was sure burned every hair in his nose.

"I am Aragog," it said. "Who dares entire my hidden valley?" it demanded.

Um... We don't know, we just followed the butterflies here! We'll just be going ow..." muttered Ron.

"Go?" said the fat unicorn in a deep, spooky voice that Harry thought ought to be fined. It was a total rip off of every scary movie he'd ever seen.

"Very well, but stay out... in fact, just to be sure... we'll have one of our own kick you in the heads so you forget..." said the fat unicorn.

"RUN!" Harry yelled at Ron. In danger of being kicked by a herd of crazy horses, Harry and Ron sprinted for the darkness of the forest.

They got out safely, panting and Ron was furious.

"Oh, shut up, Ron, you were nearly crying when we went in," Harry snapped.

"I know one thing, though," said Ron, as they walked back up to the castle.

"What?" asked Harry.

"That unicorn back there is either Hagrid's idea of a sick joke, or it's his older brother." said Ron. Harry laughed.

"Either that, or it's his little toy," remarked Harry, laughing.

They walked back up to the school, completely oblivious tothe fact that Lockhart, who had been following them, had not returned.

Naturally, they didn;t really care, and everyone was happier for it.

**THE END**


End file.
